A fresh start

Cranio-sacral therapy is amazing.

I have absolutely no idea how it works, except that it has something to do with the energy fields of the body - but it works! I met the therapist through my daughter's Moms & Tots group and started seeing her a couple of months ago because I was continually falling asleep with the kids at about 8pm and still waking tired the next morning. My energy problems have been sorted. (At least I no longer wake feeling like a zombie.) For a few weeks before the laptop crashed I was even waking earlier than usual to get some writing in before work.

Some sessions are just really relaxing. Others (like the one I had on Friday) are really intense. You learn things about yourself that you know, but never wanted to face. Your eyes are opened to things that are really obvious, but which you hadn't you noticed before. My Friday session ended with the therapist asking me "What are you afraid of?"

Then she went on to tell me that the reason I haven't been writing recently has nothing to do with technology failures and everything to do with me holding back out of fear. So what is it I'm afraid of? It's taken me a day or two to identify that I have a fear of not being good enough. Acknowledging that has set off all sorts of lightbulbs in my head. I don't intend to give in to it.

Today is a fresh start. From now on I plan to repeat this mantra every day: "I am good enough. I will be published. I can do it." Or in other words, "I think I can. I think I can."

On a completey separate note, Laptop 4 crashed and died on me last week. I am currently back on Laptop 3 which is only temporarily on loan to me. The good news is that my Executive Producer insisted the company buys a new laptop for my use. Hopefully within the week I can install all my back-ups, start a new email history and get my life back in order.